Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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