wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You need Xanax blowdarts
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
