You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
fuck your aforementioned shoe
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
