I am puke
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
