dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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