I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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