SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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