I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
