I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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