So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
