At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
