Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
