somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
