I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
