Buhtt sex?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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