please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
