It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
