Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
