Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
PANTIES FOUND
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