I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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