She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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