Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
