Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She bit a glass in half.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
