So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
