I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
