Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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