My hand turned me down
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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