I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm too high and old for this...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
