You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just found puke in my bra..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
