Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
