Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
