so explain again why im purple
no
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
