How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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