Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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