Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
