Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
