she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
