i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
