I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
