I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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