After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
