why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
