why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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