I just saw a hot homeless man
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
