hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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