don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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