Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
