Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
