I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
