Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
