Im at strip club and am horny
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
love makes seman taste better
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
