haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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