remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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